"How to Mend Your Jealous Heart"

As Relationship Coaches, we are often asked for relationship advice
on how to get over jealousy. Because many people seem to live
with these feelings, we wanted to give some ways we've discovered
that can help mend a jealous heart and create great relationships.

Jealousy can show up in your life about other people's things, their
success, their beauty, their money, their athletic prowess, their
relationship, their kids, or their education. It can, of course, show
up intensely with a partner in many different ways and people of
any socio-economic class can experience it.

Jealousy can be a small twinge in your stomach that nags at you
every now and then or it can be an all-encompassing feeling that
over-shadows everything in your relationship and destroys your
life and your relationships. In its extreme, it can lead to separation,
divorce and certainly a broken heart.

If any of these scenarios describe you, here are some ways to help
you to heal jealousy in your life:

1. Find out whether you are making up untrue stories about what
happens to trigger your jealousy. The stories you tell yourself may
be completely fabricated from what happened in your past or there
may be some truth to what you are telling yourself. Whatever the
case, find out what's actually happening and what isn't.

2. Get in touch with what you are feeling. Stop what you are doing
when those jealous feelings come up and just sit and allow them
to surface without judging them. Whether there is any truth to what
you are feeling or not, allow your feelings to be there. If you sit long
enough with jealousy, you'll probably find that underneath is anger
and/or fear. When you can address either anger or fear in your life,
you will be on your way to healing.

3. Have the courage to address what's happening in your life. If there
is truth to what you fear is happening, then formulate a plan to hit the
problem with honesty. Quit guessing and have the courage to find out.
If there isn't any truth to your fears, then bring yourself into the present
moment each time those fears come up. Remind yourself that you are
only making up untrue stories.

If the actions that you fear are actually happening, then you may need
to decide if want to continue in this situation if your partner refuses to
change his/her behavior.

If you know that you are making up stories that are untrue about what
you are feeling, then you can decide to change what you believe.

If you are having challenges with jealousy or any other strong emotion
that could potentially wreck your relationship, we invite you to look
underneath and see what the real problem is.

Then you can commit to working on and healing these challenges
and committing to making some changes for the better in your life. 

When it comes to overcoming jealousy, no matter how it shows up in
your life, it doesn't go away until you deal with the issues straight on,
make changes in your life and keep moving toward healing, no matter
what.  You can't point your finger outward at others.  You have to be
committed to changing yourself.

If you have this problem, know that many people, like you, have healed
and eliminated it from their lives and so can you.

For more information about jealousy, visit http://all-about-jealousy.com